The Trick to Finding Balance

Heard the saying “Too much of a good thing is not good”? That’s exactly right! Too much good is simply not balanced. So I am on my perfect holiday where you get all the peace and quiet. Everything is harmonious and just how I had wanted it, for days on. Until one day a family […]

The Trick to Finding Balance

Heard the saying “Too much of a good thing is not good”? That’s exactly right! Too much good is simply not balanced. So I am on my perfect holiday where you get all the peace and quiet. Everything is harmonious and just how I had wanted it, for days on. Until one day a family with an autistic kid arrives next door (the resort is only 6 semi-detached houses on a private beach). O boy, talk about noise and total lack of peace and quiet! Finally! Balance is restored.

So what does Balance really mean? Many mistakenly think that balance is the same as harmony. However, assuming the existence of harmony is something desirable and positive, whereas its absence is not desirable and deemed negative, then balance and harmony are not at all the same. Rather, balance is the meeting point between harmony and disharmony; it’s what you find in the middle. In other words, if you feel harmony, the law of balance will bring you disharmony so you can experience both sides of the scale and come back to balance.

Thus, being in balance is not directly related to feeling good. If you have positive feelings, the law of balance is what brings you negative feelings in the next round so you can experience both sides and come back into balance. In effect, the law of balance attracts the opposite of what you have so the two things can cancel each other out and give you a state of neutrality. If you are looking for too much of the upside and you are resisting or fearing the downside, you are not looking for true balance. Rather, you are hoping to maintain a state of imbalance which, of course, is impossible. So instead of striving for the impossible, it’s much better to just let go. Know that the law of balance is always working and always makes sure your life is balanced. The up always comes after the down. And the down always comes after the up.

Importantly, our brain can only experience time as linear and so cannot see the whole (perfectly balanced!) picture in its entirety simultaneously. This accounts for the pain caused by seemingly unbalanced negative experiences (which though are always preceded and always followed by positive ones). Since we operate in a state of limited perception in which we feel fragmented, dual, and separate, we simply can’t grasp the fact that everything is connected and goes together. So we feel pain about the “negative” half of our life. But this pain is absolutely inevitable, and it is exactly what balances out the positive half of life in our world of dual perception.

Nevertheless, even with pain being eternal, suffering is still optional. Knowing that the law of balance constantly gives us a cup that’s half full and half empty at the same time, and that this equation can never change, can help us accept the limitations and just go with them. Acceptance alone eliminates the struggle and open the door to living in true balance, trusting that things will come to net zero no matter what we do and how we think. Resistance, on the other hand, is what brings the suffering. So don’t resist! Accept that you are always going to have a cup half full and half empty (i.e. in balance) and choose to focus on what’s in the cup, not on what’s missing from it.

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